New Moon on Monday Astrology

Heather Chandler is an Aries.  

First off, there’s that whole red scrunchie thing, an apt symbol for Aries: it’s a hair accessory, it’s bright, bright red, (and Heather Chandler is always red). Heather Chandler is bold and aggressive and not afraid of what anybody else thinks.  As far as she’s concerned, nobody else exists, really.  And she’s mean.  Even to her friends, she’s mean.  (This is *of course* not to say that every Aries is mean, just that this is one of the potential expressions of the sign, it’s ruled by Mars after all, and Heather Chandler is a very exaggerated, very one-sided character.) 

Heather Chandler always comes first.  Duh. 

Heather Duke is a little harder.  I think she’s a Libra.  Aries and Libra are both cardinal signs, and cardinal signs like to be in charge.  Heather Duke did go straight for the role of #1 within minutes of Heather Chandler’s demise. Heather Duke takes a less confrontational approach to getting what she wants, just like a Libra would.  She’s duplicitous. Libra can sometimes have that Nelly Oleson/Eddie Haskell way of being overly, saccharine sweet so that it can keep a pretty surface while doing whatever it wants to do.  (Again ~ this is just one possible manifestation!  It certainly doesn’t apply to 100% of the Libras in this world by any stretch of the imagination.) 

Heather McNamera is undoubtedly a water sign.  She’s the most emotional character in the entire movie.  She’s not hard enough or strong enough to be a Scorpio, and she doesn’t quite have the maternal nature of Cancer, the cardinal water sign.  So she must be a Pisces.  That would make perfect sense, especially if you consider her phone call to the DJ (the one where she says she’s Madonna, no, Tweety). “The last two boys i had sex with killed themselves the next day” she says, assuming good old-fashioned Pisces guilt. Her own attempt to kill herself is classic Piscean escapism too.  

And then there’s Veronica. Veronica has a good dose of both Aquarius and Capricorn going on.  She dresses in Capricorn colors, and she has a very fast, dry, fantastically sarcastic sense of humor like Capricorn does.  She’s smart, and that could be Capricorn as well as Aquarius, but her sympathy for the underdog is a decidedly Aquarian trait. She’s also the one girl in the four-girl clique who doesn’t quite fit in, there’s something a little odd about her, also very Aquarius.  Her super magnetic attraction to a bad boy like Jason Dean is Aquarian rebellion.  Or she might just have planets in Sagittarius. Let’s call Veronica Sawyer an Aquarius with Capricorn Rising and a Sagittarius Moon.  

And JD?  Scorpio.  Exposing everybody else’s secrets in his own destructive way. 

What do you think?  

~AL

PS:  In real life, Winona Ryder is the Scorpio, and Shannen Doherty is the Aries (no surprises there).  Christian Slater is a Leo, of course.  Kim Walker, the actress who played Heather Chandler, was a Gemini.  She died of a brain tumor in 2001.  Lisanne Falk, who played Heather McNamera, has no listed date of birth.